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Can God bring good out of tragedy?
The NASA Challenger disaster in 1986 forced me to wrestle with that question. Here is how God answered it.
Life Before Christ — Confidence in Control
I grew up in Tennessee, baptized as a 6-week-old baby, but with little real involvement in church. I believed in God and knew Jesus was important in a vague, cultural sense, but I trusted myself far more than I trusted Him.
After earning a degree in mechanical engineering, I went to work for NASA at the Kennedy Space Center — a career perfectly suited for someone who believed life could be understood, managed, and controlled. It followed in the footsteps of my dad, an electrical engineer in Tullahoma, Tennessee.
Yet beneath the achievements were wounds I didn’t know how to heal. My relationship with my earthly father was fractured, leaving deep insecurity and anger. I turned to alcohol and worldly distractions to numb what I didn’t want to face.
Outwardly I functioned well; inwardly I was restless, guarded, and quietly afraid that if there was a God, He would probably want to abandon me, just like my dad.
The Day Everything Cracked — Challenger
On January 28, 1986, I stood outside my office at Kennedy Space Center and watched the Space Shuttle Challenger lift into a clear blue sky — and then break apart in an instant.
“Obviously a major malfunction.”
Personal photograph of the Space Shuttle Challenger breaking apart on January 28, 1986.
Schoolchildren across the country were watching live. Many others were drawn to the launch because of the Teacher in Space, Christa McAuliffe.
Shock gave way to grief. Grief gave way to guilt. I had worked on hardware for Challenger. I knew procedures had been followed — yet I could not silence the question:
Could I have done something more?
The orderly world I trusted felt fragile, unsafe, and unfair. Logic didn’t comfort me, and engineering couldn’t answer why. Alcohol continued to fuel my attempted escape from grief.
But something had shifted. This tragedy began to press a deeper set of questions into my heart — about God, suffering, and meaning.
A Verse That Wouldn’t Let Me Go
A Christian coworker patiently tried to answer my questions. He pointed me to Scripture.
One verse unsettled me more than any other:
“Now we know that God does not hear the prayers of sinners…”
— John 9:31
If God did not hear sinners — and I knew I was one — then how could I ever reach Him or get answers? I wasn’t righteous or holy, and I felt I was certainly not worthy of His attention.
That question would not leave me.
How, then, can a sinner be heard by God?
From Intellectual Search to Personal Crisis
For nearly a year I wrestled. I tried to examine Christianity the same way I examined mechanical systems — with testing, questioning, and challenging assumptions. I wanted evidence, logic, or at least coherence.
But slowly I realized the issue was not intellectual. It was personal. I needed to do what the Bible says: bow the knee.
If God was real — and if Jesus truly was who He claimed to be — then I was not merely a curious engineer. I was a sinner in need of rescue from the eternal penalty of sin before a perfectly holy God.
The same Bible that declared God does not hear sinners also declared that Jesus came to save sinners, to reconcile them to God, and to make them children instead of strangers.
The tension between those truths pressed on me daily.
The questions would not leave me.
April 1, 1987 — A Simple Prayer
One morning, driving to work, I finally stopped running from the questions.
Alone in my car, I prayed a simple, awkward prayer of repentance. I confessed my sin before God and asked Jesus Christ to forgive me, to save me, and to take control of my life.
No foolin’ — on that April Fool’s Day, 1987!
There was no dramatic experience and no sudden emotion except relief.
I was embarrassed to tell my coworkers, afraid it really wasn’t true and unsure how they would respond.
But deep inside there was a real turning — from self-trust to Christ-trust — empowered by the Holy Spirit. Twenty-five years of old, worldly programming would not disappear overnight, but the process of sanctification and cleansing began that very instant.
Life After Christ — From Control to Grace
I did not become perfect. But I became forgiven. And slowly — very slowly — I became free.
As I grew over the years in the truth of Scripture, God replaced bitterness with forgiveness and fear with peace. He taught me to release control and trust His sovereignty — even when life remains unpredictable and tragedies still come.
He enabled me to forgive my father before his untimely death eight years later, even though we were still estranged. He healed wounds I once thought permanent and restored fractured family relationships.
The tragedy of Challenger did not remain meaningless pain. God used it as the crack through which light entered my life. He caused that tragedy to work together for my ultimate good: to be a child of the King of kings.
It was a beautiful reflection of Romans 8:28: God causing all things — even Challenger — to work together for good to those who are called according to His purposes.
Why I Share This
If you are asking hard questions — about suffering, guilt, or whether God would hear your prayer — know this:
God does not hear the prayers of sinners who remain in their sin (John 9:31). He is perfectly holy and cannot dwell with sin (Habakkuk 1:13).
But He joyfully hears the cry of any sinner who comes to Him in repentance and faith through Jesus Christ.
That is the difference the Gospel makes.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
— Romans 6:23
And it is why, even forty years after the Challenger tragedy shook my world, I can say with confidence:
God redeems what we cannot.
Who Really Draws a Sinner to God
Looking back, I understand something I did not see at the time:
I did not “find” God through my own efforts. God drew me to Himself.
Jesus said:
“No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him.”
— John 6:44
My questions, my searching, and even the unsettling weight of John 9:31 were not the result of my own wisdom. They were evidence of the Holy Spirit quietly at work — convicting, teaching, and pulling my heart toward truth long before I ever prayed.
This is why I do not view my salvation as an achievement, a decision I engineered, or a religious act I performed correctly. It was mercy.
God opened my eyes, softened my resistance, and granted me the ability to repent of my sin and believe on Him. Even the faith to pray in repentance was a gift.
Salvation is not produced by repeating certain words. It is the supernatural work of God in the heart of a sinner who recognizes his or her need and turns to Christ.
Yet Scripture is clear that when a sinner does call upon the Lord in faith, God hears.
“Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.” — Romans 10:13
If you are reading this and feel the weight of your own questions, doubts, or guilt, consider this:
Your very concern may be evidence that God is already drawing you.
The same God who heard my prayer is still in the business of hearing the prayers of sinners who come to Him in repentance and faith through Jesus Christ.
If these questions are stirring in you, don’t brush them aside. Seek Him in His Word. Ask Him to show you the truth about Christ.
To Him alone be the glory. Amen. Soli Deo Gloria.
If you have questions about my testimony, or what it is like to be a Christian, or any comments, I welcome them. Email me!
Julie Choate Moore, originally written April 11, 1998; updated many times since. Last update: March 31, 2026.